The Top 5 Ingredients for a Good Marriage?

There were so many insightful comments and instructions given at our recent WCC Marriage Retreat, by Paul David Tripp in his DVD series: “What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage”, that I wanted to pass these nuggets along to others and, Lord willing, spark some discussion between you and your spouse, as well as remind those who did attend about the things we learned. Let’s be doers of the heard, and not hearers only, deceiving ourselves. (Jas. 1:22)
WCC Marriage Retreat Recap: Part 1

To start, the title of this content from Paul David Tripp implies something; what does it imply? In no particular order and certainly not exhaustive it implies the following:

  • We each had certain expectations going into marriage
  • We will experience disappointment, either with ourselves, or with our spouse, because of these expectations we have for ourselves, or for them
  • This disappointment leads to conflict
  • Marriage is primarily about me and what I can get from my spouse, not about them and what I can give to them

In some, even small, degree many marriages contain elements of some of these expectations. We are taught by our culture – especially in the entertainment we consume – that marriage is meant to make you happy, fulfilled, satisfied, complete, etc., etc., etc.

Ingredients for a Good Marriage

We were asked to think of the ingredients of a good marriage and list out the top 5. Personally, I put down:

  1. Love
  2. Forgiveness
  3. Communication
  4. Attraction
  5. Friendship

As we did throughout the entire retreat, we had some good initial discussion on this question. Next, though, we were asked to name just one ingredient: What one thing must be in a good marriage? It’s tempting to say love, but as we’ll see over the course of this series, we often have a foggy-at-best view of Biblical love for our spouse. Tripp later explains what the one ingredient is, but I’ll not give it away. Ask me about borrowing the DVDs yourself, or for details on a Home Fellowship that may be starting up the series soon.

In conclusion, then, I’ll ask your opinion: What are the 5 ingredients for a good marriage? Come back next time, to learn the first foundational principle we learned during the retreat, and continue with me in this series to learn the number one biblical ingredient for a good marriage.

Now, what do you think?

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